The Shift

I cried out to God today-- Frustrated by my lack of commitment to Him, my lack of zeal, my lack of love, my lack of direction. Should I chose A or B? Should I being doing C and D?. . . I definitely need to give up E and F. . . And I said these words to my maker: "God-- I'm just trying to live Your life." And how did my maker reply? Did he shout to me-- You're absolutely right-- you need to give up E AND F, and start doing C AND D, and then, maybe then, I'll let you know if you should choose A or B." NOPE, that's not what my maker said to me. I said, "God, I'm just trying to live Your life." And God? He whispered back gently, reassuringly, "How about, you just let me live your life instead?"
Oh.
And so, with one sentence, the Shift came. A, B, C, D, E, AND F-- were all addressed in one simple reply. Maybe I should stop trying to live God's life and let Him live mine. Maybe I should just trust-- believe. Let God lead me hour by hour-- moment by moment. Maybe if I breathed in God with each breath-- all those things I am so concerned about, so guilt-ridden over, maybe those things will fall into place. And so, I'm drawn back-- back to the sermon today at church-- back to the words I've read so often and at times understood, "For whoever wants to save his life must lose it." We are not called to live Christ's life here on earth. We are called to let Christ live ours. . . And so "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3-16-19) Fill me God. Live my life. Amen.

Gifts (Hubby Style)

60. Sore muscles after a good work-out.
59. A great cup of coffee...mmmmmmm
58. Cinnamon Rolls in the morning...very yummy.
57. Being able to see without anymore glasses.
56. A good book to read on those rainy days.
55. A job to provide for my family.
54. A wife who loves me even when I'm less than loveable.
53. Children to wrestle with.
52. Having the gift of marrige.
51. A family full of support.

Gifts. . . Again!

50. Boys who love to get mail.
49. A Christian family and extended family.
48. This gift list :).
47. Cuddles from my big little man.
46. A husband who wants our relationship to be the best it can be.
45. Fresh hair cuts on little boys.
44. "Big hugs" from Aidan.
43. A little boy in footed jammies each morning.
42. Mexican Food. . . mmmmmmm.
41. A little boy who loves his Aunt Beth.
40. A God who is always there to listen, comfort, and heal.

Gifts

40. Having our daddy home more because he is done with school!
39. Little faces after chocolate pudding and chocolate bunnies.
38. Having worship songs stuck in my head.
37. A church with real, transparent women, with real struggles, all trying to lean on God and each other to make it through.
36. A clean house (for this second).
35. Brendan's ever-changing birthday party ideas.
34. Aidan's "birdie" mobile in his bed, and the fact that he turns it on with his toes :).
33. Weekends for the boys at Memaw's and Grandpa's (and rest for a tired Mommy and Daddy).
32. Aidan's new favorite phrase, "Woo-Hoo!"
31. Homemade cinnamon rolls.

More Gifts. . .

30. Boys who could play outside all day long.
29. Sand tracked into the house-- evidence of playing hard in our sandbox.
28. Coming to the end of the long road of my hubby's grad school.
27. Andrew's estactic mood after his FINAL final!!
26. Long walks with good friends.
25. Friends who will tell you like it is.
24. The quiet of naptime.
23. Holding hands to pray at dinner.
22. Having to say the aforementioned dinner prayer three times because Aidan enjoys it so much.
21. A mommy who reads my blog and leaves me sweet comments :).

More for the One Thousand Gifts List

20. Little boys who sing in their beds when they wake up in the morning.
19. A husband who remembered to put the tea kettle on before homegroup.
18. A boy who covered me in pillows to "make me comfy" because I was tired.
17. Beautiful spring days.
16. Seeing Aidan take a ride on Grandpa's tractor.
15. The looks on the boys' faces after a great fireman birthday party.
14. Sweet yellow wildflowers in the backyard (despite our weed n' feed :)).
13. Running to dada when he comes home in the morning.
12. Dada sweeping up said boys who run to him each morning and hugging them tight.
11. Being greeted as the "cutest girl I've ever seen" by my sweet hubbie.

One Thousand Gifts

Ann V. at Holy Experience (my new favortie blog) is encouraging us all to keep a list of one thousand gifts. Not a list of one thousand gifts we want, but of one thousand gifts we already have (thanks for this wording, Ann!). One thousand everyday ways that God has blessed us. And so, I begin today with ten. Ten ordinary, extrodinary things I've been blessed with.
10. The beautiful wooden candlesticks on my kitchen table, made by my brother-in-law.
9. The way Aidan carries his blankie around-- just like Linus from Charlie Brown.
8. Those little cinnamon and sugar frosted donuts.
7. Late night snuggles.
6. Brendan's "man feet"-- because he is not a bear and, therefore cannot have "bare feet".
5. Neighbors who are always there to help, listen and play with.
4. Boys wrestling with their daddy.
3. Aidan's ever expanding vocabulary of car noises.
2. A husband with a tender heart.
1. A boy who snuggles into my lap and tells me he needs some "Mommy loving".